Guest post by Chris Goldswain
Hey dudes, listen up. So you’re single and wanting to find that special lady you’re going to be with for the rest of your life? Yes I know, guys – even hardcore “boy’s club” jocks – are looking for real love. Well, some of them at least. If that’s you, I’ve got some tips on how to find that special lady friend …
#1: Be realistic. She’s not going to be a “dream girl”. Perfect skin, perfect you-know-what-else, always agrees with you and likes everything you like? Not gonna happen. Your dream girl is most likely going to love a bunch of stuff you don’t even understand and have emotions you will never wrap your head around. She probably won’t look like Scarlett Johansson, she’ll have bad hair days, bad skin days … and yes, she will even fart every once in a while. So come down from cloud Hollywood and open your eyes.
There are amazing women all around you every day, and I’m talking about the human ones, not the ones on the posters. All women are beautiful. I know it sounds cliché, but just trust me on this. We’ve gotten caught up in such a narrow view of beauty (excuse the pun), that we miss out on the beauty that’s right in front of us, in all its unique and wonderful forms. So guys, please, start living in the real world, because it’s actually got some pretty awesome ladies in it.
#2: It’s the heart that counts. Ok, enough with the clichés already! But I’m serious. Real love is about two souls (not just two bodies) coming together. On some days, it’s truly awesome, but on other days it’s a little less so. And again, this is where guys get too fussy. Souls don’t always connect like Lego blocks. Or iPod docks. Sometimes it’s more like … your face connecting with some sharp pink fingernails. On your bad days, you’re going to fight, argue, and maybe even wrestle. And you might get bored with each other from time to time. But hey, that’s real life. Swings and roundabouts.
To really love someone, you’re going to have to win her heart, and her trust. Again and again. It’s going to take work, and you’ll both get hurt, lots of times. But I can tell you this: It will be one of the most rewarding things you do with your life. Hands down.
Which brings me to my final word of advice …
#3: Show some commitment bro. Too many guys are afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of commitment. To be fair, many of our dads didn’t do the greatest job with us, and many of their marriages don’t exactly fill us with confidence for finding true happiness. But we’ve got to deal with that, and not just sit passively by while our wounds ruin our chances at finding real love. I would encourage you to begin a process of inner healing. Find out the real reasons behind your fears. And allow the love of God the Father to make you strong on the inside. If you’ll go to those deep places with God, He’ll turn you into a man who can overcome his fears and properly commit to a lady.
And guys, trust me, that’s the kind of man that every woman is looking for.