Don’t we all dream of meeting that perfect prince charming who respects and understands us, and sends us flowers every other week? Hmmm… of course. But what do we do when we’re married to him, and start to realise he does the darndest things sometimes? Much as you love him, sometimes you have to wonder WHY is Mr. Right doing that WRONG thing – again? And to be honest he’s probably thinking the exact same thing about you too – I know my husband is at least!
For example, there’s a special look of horror I reserve for times when my husband uses my dish washing sponge to deal with a smear of *something* on his shoe… or when he tells me the potatoes he cooked, recently on my plate and now in my stomach, were partly rotten BUT not to worry, they were PROBABLY still edible. It looks something like the expression in the photo above.
Another time I’m tempted to wear that look is when we have the Anita VS Computer duel. No matter whether I’m holding out chocolate and biscuits as bait, or if I’ve put on a cocktail dress and turned the lights down low, emails seem to have a mysterious pull on my man. Don’t get me wrong, I usually win in the end – but often only after a fight involving pink nails flashing in front of a stubbly face (ahem thanks for that snapshot of our marriage last week my darling!)
Like all good things in life, relationships take time and work to become truly great. Over the four years that we have been together, two things have helped us navigate the different atmospheres of Mars and Venus, and fall more in love despite our differences.
#1. learn to have a good fight: Bottling things up is a recipe for disaster. The longer things fester, the more permanent the damage, so keep a short tab with your spouse. In other words, talk over the problem rather than letting your anger brew. The Bible is right that if you don’t resolve your fight TODAY, you give the devil a foothold in your marriage – then what could have been a good fight becomes a bad war.
Having a good fight also means listening to the other person, not just hearing them speak. Listening means laying aside your agenda long enough to put yourself in their shoes, and being willing to change the way you have always done things, so that your home is big enough to fit two personalities in under one roof. And practice saying sorry – that little word can save your marriage.
#2. Spend time together: According to a recent Relevant article, regular date nights reduce divorce rates. It’s not rocket science really – one or two nights a week to have fun and relax with your special someone keeps that fickle flame of love burning. But all too often, we let ‘urgent’ things get in the way, when really, marriage is more important. Urgent things will always remain, but sadly not all marriages. So stay spontaneous – put little notes in your man’s jacket pocket, take a dance class, and go to the movies even if the bank account complains. Your marriage is worth the time and money – it’s your most important investment after a relationship with God. After all, isn’t it worth fighting for a truly great marriage?